WHY??
thiis is my first time ever doing sum shiit like diss...
so basically ive been going threw alott of stress and shiit lately . i dont know why but ever since our first break up .. ive been feeling kiinda insecure about alotta shyt ..
*looks
*how she feels
*am i giving enough space
* what shes doing
* is she talkiin to other niggas
* if she even thiinkin of me
*ect..
da list goes on and on..
man seriously doe i hate fuckiin feelin like dis. ive neva eva felt liike dis before. ive neva been the type of nigga to be insecure and bullshiit like dat. she confuses me alot. she tells me she loves me wants to be with me and she misses me. but shiit isnt quiet da same as the first time. now it seems shes a lil more distant... i mean dont get me wrong we see eachotha every weekend.. and we talk everyday.. well not everyday .. sometimes we txt ... i under stand she needs space and im learning to cope wit dat shiit.. im just so use to things how dey were .. and now shyt a lil different its like she wants me one day... den da nxt day she dont give a fuck.. man ive neva been the type to catch female emotions liike dis here..(NO HoMo)... but shiit idk i know sumtiimes its just me triippiin... at times i know she loves me .. and at times it seems like she dont give a fuck... mah nigga sumtimes it seems like no matter what i do to try to keep her happy .. sumtimes shes to selfish and shiit to realize da shyt i go threw jst to try to take her out or see her stupid ass.. man recently ive been letting her kno how i feel it i guess it opened her eyes a bit cuz she seems to show more affection liike she use to little by little its goin bak to normal.. but it seems liike every tiime she returns to skoo... she comes bak wit a fucked up attitude cuz she gets frusterated wit ROTC... which i mean i understand cuhz shes in love wit it . and i know it means alot to her... so i understand dat we dont tlk much durin da week cuhz she be busy wit dat shyt and homework and all diis junk but i mean i miss her..
lol i know diis shyt sound whack but idk why and i dawm sure dont know how but i am deeeply in love wit dis chick... but dawmm she kinda be bossy sumtimes n shyt idk i try not to argue wit her cuz dats what fucked us up in da first place ... it seems like everytime we together shes koo and we good.. but den again it seem like she dont want me around as much as she use to.... idk she confused da fuck outta me doe.....
man and to top off all this shyt i realized that alot of our bullshiit arguments is frm my car being in the shop.. and me not having transportation to see her ass.... sumtimes she understands and sumtimes shes to dawm stubborn and selfish... but idk... daz mah baby i stiick wit her cuz i know if we stiick together we will make it threw and i know everything will be better ... i look bak at shyt dat makes me happy and realize diis chick really does make me happy just liike the times i think about makes her happy as well... she thinks more negative then positive most of the time.... idk but the shop has had my car for a long ass time and they have been bullshiiting but today i finally got the good news that it is FINALLY DONE !!!!! so excited
i just have to wait till my momcomes back tommorow.... but anyways its just been alot of shyt as well as my grandma having a major heartattak yesturday.... man that iis alot of shiit to go threw.... its koo doe ... shes ok now.. my grandma a thug.. shes a fighter she gets threw it lol ..... but yea idk this has all been in my mind and dawm it just kinda sux..... gotta go to court monday for a ticket... and have to pay alot of shyt iidk .. it seems like i think about my gurl all the time n i seem to miss her all the time even when she takes like a few mins to reply between txt msgs man i feel like its for ever ... n i miss her.. idk its fukin wiierd but.... im jst a sprung ass nigga lol fuck iittt
